Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Best Ever Sardar Jokes




Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend:
How do u know?
Sardar:
I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new…

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A:
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Wife-
Oye ji, Sunte Ho,Utho Utho,Raat ke 2 baje he.
Husband-
itni rat ko Q...Uthaya Mujhe
Wife-
Aap neend ki goli Lena to bhul Hi gaye..!

Santa :
"Ek litre gaaye{cow} Ka Dhoodh Dena."
Banta :
"Lekin Tumhara Bartan To Bahut Chhota Hai."
Santa :
"Theek He To Fir BAKRI Ka De de.."


Interviewer>
To bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega?
Sardar>
PANI nai hoga to Insan Tairega kaise? Aur Tairega nahi to doob jayega!


Friend:
I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar:
Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher:
Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar:
ZEBRA
Teacher:
How?
Sardar:
Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar:
Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher:
Me? No, why?
Sardar:
Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

Judge:
Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge:
U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question:
"Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied:
"No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"


Sir:
What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar:
Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.

Manager:
Do U know MS Office?
Sardar:
If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "

Air hostess said:
"B silent."
Sardar:
"Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"

Sardarji replied:

"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor:
When?
Sardar:
3 Months Ago
Dr:
Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar:
We were using duplicate key

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....


Son:
papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar:
ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:

"Torch is okay"

Sardar1:
Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Sardar2:
Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.

Teacher:
"What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar:
"All are born on government holidays...!!!


And the first prize goes to ...............


Now i really know why Sardars are called Soooooooooo....

"Don't come to Australia. I was lucky to have escaped''

NEW DELHI: Twenty-year-old Sunny Bajaj has made up his mind. He will leave Australia for good. The Shalimar Bagh boy, who studied at Sachdeva

Public School in west Delhi and is pursuing accounting at Deakins University for the past one-and-a-half years now, has been left badly shaken by the attack on him at Melbourne on Friday night when he was racially abused and bashed up, leaving him with bruises and a fractured finger.


He was so traumatised by the incident that he skipped his exams on Monday. Speaking from Melbourne, he said: ``If Indian students really think they can cope with such abuses, they should come here. But my suggestion is don't come to this country. I was lucky to have escaped - otherwise I would have been in coma now.''

Bajaj is the latest victim of the racial attacks that have been unleashed in Australia in the past two months and seem to be continuing unabated.

It was on Friday night, around 8.15 pm local time, that he was assaulted by two men in Boronia, Melbourne.
``I was returning to my car after shopping when two men accosted me and asked for money. When I said I didn't have any, they began abusing me and then attacked me without any provocation. One of them was white and the other seemed to be of African origin.''

Bajaj said the men clearly knew he was an Indian because ``they abused me saying ``f****** Indian c***. They slammed the car door on my hand, fracturing my finger, hit me on my head and punched me in the stomach and face.'' He said he had reported the matter to the police and given them a description of the two men.

Bajaj was preparing for his exams before going back to India for his vacations. He says racial abuse is very common in Australia and students are used to it. ``Things are coming out into the open only now. I personally know of so many cases of racial abuse, which may not have resulted in physical assault like it has been happening of late. All kind of dirty things are said to us. Even after the protests, things have not changed at all,'' he said.

Asked whether he would like to continue staying in Australia, Bajaj said: ``I can't do much right now as I have my exams. In fact, I missed one today. But the first thing I really want to do now is to get back to India as soon as possible. My parents have been worried ever since these things started coming out into the open and now they don't want me to be here any longer. They want me to return or to go to some place like Singapore.''

Bajaj said he was yet to get over his trauma. ``I am completely out of my wits at present thinking that it could have been much worse. I was plain lucky with a few bruises, a broken finger and these injuries. I was saved because of an approaching car; otherwise, I would have been in hospital,'' he recalled with a shudder.

The Federation of Indian Students of Australia (FISA) is alleging that no help has come their way, accusing the Indian consulate of not taking the issue seriously and playing politics with the life of students.

Media coordinator of FISA Gautam Gupta told:``Indian students have been spending millions and this is what they get in return. We have been in touch with the consulate but they are simply not interested in mediation. Why is there no visit by any ministry of external affairs team to see how the consulate is working?'' He alleged that the Indian government wasn't exerting any pressure.

Bajaj, however, feels that the Australian government is doing its bit to bring the situation under control and so are the cops. ``They can't assign a policeman to each student. But believe me, things are bad on the ground and it is not safe at all. First the attacks were happening late at night and in desolate locations, but now the incidents are taking place in the evening hours.''

``Australia is a beautiful country, but I am really scared and want to go home,'' he says

Monday, June 15, 2009

The M'aya'bati Drama.

LUCKNOW: Uttar Pradesh chief minister Maywati has come under severe criticism from opposition leaders for having made derogatory remarks about Mahatma Gandhi.


While addressing a meeting of MPs and legislators of her Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP) here Saturday, Mayawati called the Father of the Nation a "natakbaaz" (fake). She also distributed pamphlets condemning both Mahatma Gandhi and Congress general secretary Rahul Gandhi for being insincere about the improvement in socio-economic status of Dalits.

"Mayawati's attempt to run down the Father of the Nation will only prove counter-productive and she will have to pay for it," said state Congress spokesman Subodh Srivastava.

"This only reflects her frustration on account of her failure to keep her monopolistic control over Dalits. It is high time she realises that Dalits are not her private property and they are well aware to see and understand the difference between what Mahatma Gandhi did for them and what Mayawati was doing for them," he added.

Samajwadi Party state president Akhilesh Yadav said: "Mayawati's derogatory remarks against Mahatma Gandhi are clearly a reflection of her having not only lost ground but even her balance."

Calling Mayawati's rant against Mahatma Gandhi "a shameful act", BJP spokesman Hriday Narain Dikshit said: "By terming whatever he did against untouchability as a drama, Mayawati has shown utter disrespect to the Father of the Nation."

Srivastava also condemned Mayawati's move to hold protest demonstrations June 19, which is Rahul Gandhi's birthday.

"Maybe she does not like the idea of a birthday being observed without forced collection of funds since she is so used to celebrating her own birthday solely to collect money and jewellery," he said.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Environmentalists’ concern over tree-felling



BHUBANESWAR: Environmentalists and rights activists raised their concern over indiscriminate felling of trees to make way for widening of roads in the capital city.



Works department had to cut down 173 trees to make space for construction of ambitious flyover at busy Rajmahal Square. However, trees were felled reportedly without any concrete plan on compensating the vegetation.




To be built at a cost of Rs. 67.31 crores, the three-tier flyover structure would facilitate smooth vehicular movement between AG Square and Kalpana Square.



This was not the first time when trees were being felled. During widening of roads from Airport to Infocity and current development of eight-lane road between Sainik School and Acharya Vihar, huge plants were uprooted. Many decades-old trees were chopped down along Cuttack-Puri road a few months ago.

“We don’t know where the State Government has identified alternative locations to plant trees to compensate the loss. All those green drives being announced by Bhubaneswar Municipal Corporation (BMC) are its own programmes. The compensatory plantation against tree loss due to road-widening should clearly be spelt out,” said city-based rights activist Biswapriya Kanungo.

Works department sources said they were entrusted with the task of widening roads and it was the lookout of the Forest Department to see how compensatory forestry could be taken up.

When asked city forest division authorities said since city did not come under forestland categories, the guidelines on compensatory forestry did not fit here. But city did not have adequate vacant space to plant trees, they said adding that most of pavements were made of concrete ones leaving little scope for creating avenue plantation.

“About 60 per cent of trees could be uprooted and planted somewhere else. However, authorities lacked mindset to go for this cumbersome process to save the trees,” said Biswajit Mohanty, an environmentalist.

Even the capital city did not have a definite environment plan, he said. “Species of trees have been badly chosen. One should select such trees which could sustain wildlife and would be strong enough to withstand in cyclones,” Mr. Mohanty said.

Friday, June 12, 2009

ZooZoos Mania...

(for a bigger picture please click on the above image)
Now this the funniest thing i have ever come across in my whole life.
What a hit by Vodafone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Singh and His Tandoori Chicken

Each Friday night after work, Bubbal Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of Bubbal's neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Bubbal, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubbal attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, ''You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."


Bubbal's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubbal's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.


There stood Bubbal, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb
but now yara, you are a potato and tomato "! :-) :-) :-)

PS: I am not a racist but i couldn't stop myself sharing this.

I am an absolute fan of Wyclef....







Wyclef you rock man....
i just love each and every song of yours....

(Brief biography of Wyclef)
Wyclef Neluset Jean (born October 17, 1972) is a multi-platinum Haitian-American musician, actor, producer and former-member of the hip hop trio The Fugees. Wyclef has sold more than 31 million albums[1] throughout his career together with his album sales with The Fugees.

A native of Haiti,[1] Wyclef Jean became a sworn Rasta at a young age as he often mentions in various tracks.

The son of a Nazarene pastor,[2] Wyclef briefly attended Eastern Nazarene College, where his younger brother Sam graduated with a degree in history.

Wyclef moved with his family to Brooklyn, New York, when he was nine before they moved again to northern New Jersey. Jean has been a resident of Saddle River, New Jersey and South Orange, New Jersey.[4]

And in reggae genre BoB MarleY is the god father & why not he is the father of reggae.
i luv "No waman no cry" of his the most.

(Brief biography of BoB Marley)
Robert "Bob" Nesta Marley OM (February 6, 1945 – May 11, 1981) was a Jamaican singer-songwriter and musician. He was the lead singer, songwriter and guitarist for the ska, rocksteady and reggae bands The Wailers (1964 – 1974) and Bob Marley & the Wailers (1974 – 1981). Marley remains the most widely known and revered performer of reggae music, and is credited for helping spread both Jamaican music and the Rastafari movement, (of which he was a committed member), to a worldwide audience.[1]

Marley's best known hits include "I Shot the Sheriff", "No Woman, No Cry", "Exodus", "Could You Be Loved", "Stir It Up", "Jamming", "Redemption Song", "One Love" and, together with The Wailers, "Three Little Birds",[2] as well as the posthumous releases "Buffalo Soldier" and "Iron Lion Zion". The compilation album, Legend, released in 1984, three years after his death, is reggae's best-selling album, being 10 times platinum in the US,[3] and selling 20 million copies worldwide.

And Here goes my two favourites...